I had originally planned on going out today, but opted for a quiet day in tidying up in my office (which I started yesterday). As a remote worker, one of my resolutions this year was to spend less time indoors and more time out in the real world, but today felt like a day where engaging with my interior environment felt a bit more important.

My office is one of those spaces where I often put blinders up as I enter due to being overwhelmed by the clutter of my space. As a person with varied interests and a leaning towards Maximalism — and the room being as small as it is — it can get filled quite quickly. I’m also very much an “Einstein’s desk” type that leaves their ideas and half thought plans all over the place.

So I thought today might be a day where it made sense to engage more intentionally with these “things” and these plans, and try to make a bit of sense with them.

Aside from spending more time out in the real world, another resolution has been to really look at my relationship with technology, how I use it and how it impacts my life — primarily in terms of big tech apps and services, and also my phone. I’m progressing towards divesting myself from as many of these as I can, with the help of advice from the Folks at IndieWeb and Big Tech Won’t Save Us, as well as my own research into the indie web and alternative platforms for communicating outside of social media (such as Micro Blog!).

I bring this up because my use of these addicting technologies feels directly connected to my disconnection from my immediate environment. Yesterday, I was watching a TedX talk by Gabriela Nguyen ("I quit social media — here’s what happened") and she brought up the point that in some instances our overuse of our phone or social media relates to our environment and sometimes changing out environment can help us feel the need to use our phone or be on social media as often.

Because my space can feel so overwhelming, it’s no wonder that I put my blinders up. And then it makes just as much sense that I would default to doing something accessible that taps into the dopamine receptors in my brain as a way of avoiding doing the thing that I’ve been dreading doing: confronting my clutter and actually thinking about what it is I have, why I have it, and whether or not any of it even serves me anymore.

And then this leads to another resolution of mine: to become a person who creates more than they consume — predominantly as a means of regaining autonomy over myself and my attention. This is a topic that warrants its own post, but to put it simply, I’ve realized more and more that my life has very much been one of eager consumption of stuff and things, of content and information, rather than creating and exploring. As I examine my relationship with technology and the physical space around me, I feel the friction more and more. So I hope that this year I will be able to, slowly but surely, redirect my time and attention towards playing and making, rather than staring at a screen and scrolling, or wondering what item I can buy next that will make me feel like I’ve done something meaningful for myself.

It’s a month and a half into this fresh, strange year, so we will see where these resolutions take me. For now, I will continue to pick through my stacks of books and papers and contemplate what life — and the space around me — can look like.

Journal entries

Reflecting on Resolutions, Clutter, Technology, and Consumption