3am wake up call
Does your neurodivergence wake you up in the night? Mine sure does.
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You ever pause and think about how the label “high-functioning” that gets applied to #ActuallyAutistic, #AudHD, #ADHD, and other #neurodivergent folks is just sotto voce, “It’s way harder for you to do certain things than it is for other people and you’re pretty fantastic at keeping that struggle completely invisible to outside scrutiny.”
Some days I’m thankful for masking. Other days I wish I could just shine a spotlight and say, “See? I’m expending triathlon level energy just to accomplish what you can at a brisk walk.”
It’s a spectrum. Just because you’re not at the far point of that spectrum doesn’t mean that everything is sunshine, lemon drops, and rainbows.
Katta's new fringe, AuDHD edition.
After decades of not having a fringe, I decide that I want one. I resit the ADHD impulse to do it myself and make an appointment at my hairdresser, bringing pictures of curtains bangs.
After less than an hour later sensory issues drive me crazy, the hairdresser doesn't answer the phone. I remember where I actually saw the fringe I wanted, look at old pictures of Jane Birkin and cut it myself. Now I have the fringe I wanted an no sensory issues, because the hair doesn't touch my eyelids. Happy End.
People pleasing isn't kindness - it's the high price of renting your spot in society.
I've been called shy and boring, but those aren't traits, they are security protocols.
I am different for everyone because it’s safer.
Maintaining these APIs is manual social engineering that drains my battery to zero. Being accepted isn't free, the rent is incredibly high. It’s not about being nice - it's about survival.
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