I became atheist shortly after seeing god. I was very young, maybe 10, and I prayed every night for god to send me a sign that I should become a catholic priest. I had read my children's bible many times. I had disturbingly grandiose fantasies about old testament prophets and casting out demons.
Anyway, it was at that point I did see god. It wasn't very nice, overtly evil actually. Very, very impressive and absolutely terrifying.
I have a family history of schizophrenia and interpreted the experience accordingly. It was the first time I had seen what the mind can do, and I could see the parallels with the experiences I was reading in the bible. I had experienced terror and infinite hostility, but it seemed obvious other people might have more benign and relatable experiences.
God's lesson for me was scepticism. Anyone could see anything. And if you wear a funny hat, lots of people will believe your wild tales. I became much more self aware and self critical - a mixed but essential blessing.
The experience left me with a painful awareness of my neurodiversity. But the kid who wanted to exorcise their classmates clearly wasn't doing too well anyway. I stopped thinking about that.
I had the thought "What if god did appear and said, screw the ten commandments - I want to see torture and cannibalism!" Would people start a religion for that god? Probably yes, but I knew I wouldn't.
I can't say for sure if supernatural beings exist or not. But I do know that the moral category of "god" does not exist. All beings have responsibility for their own ethics and actions. Power does not correlate to morality.
Here endeth my holy book. Hearken unto my words and go forth with my holy message.
For clarity: I am wearing a funny hat.
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